Papa had a big bulge protruding through his boxers.

I was not too young to know what it was.

An erection.

For Mama.

I was embarrassed for all of us. But mostly afraid of Papa’s reaction to the intrusion by church members of his weekly snack.

Sister Agnes was in shock as she couldn’t seem to lift her eyes from below Papa’s waistline.

“I….I….we…..” she finally closed her eyes, took a deep breathe and stepped away, pushing Brother Dele forward.

Papa, a smirk on his face was greatly amused by sister Agnes’ reaction to his still bulging male member.

“Good evening Sir,” Brother Dele, attempted a weak smile, “ we are here to see mama Ejiro, she did not attend the weekly service as promised ”

He looked down at me, “Ejiro, how are you?”

I stepped back and said nothing. Tricia had disappeared into mama’s room. Mama remained in her room.

Scared to death, I imagined.

I was waiting for Papa to slap him or something but it never came, instead he said “ why don’t you come in and have a seat”


Even brother Dele couldn’t believe it. Sister Agnes looked agitated.

“Huh, we can always come back later, there’s no urgency”

He turned to leave but papa said “Haba, young man, come on in, I insist” He pulled Brother Dele in and looked at Sister Agnes, motioning her to come in as well. Sister Agnes was distraught, she looked ready to pass out.

“My wife is probably sleeping right now” He said this loud enough for Mama to hear and know not to come out.

He gestured at the chairs, “please have a seat”.

Sister Agnes, highly uncomfortable sat opposite him, trying with little success to stop staring below Papa’s waist.

Papa very aware of this sat with his legs wide open.

I looked at him in disdain and he motioned for me to go join Mama in the room.

I reluctantly obeyed.

Mama was behind the door as i opened it. Tricia sat on the bed, staring into space. Mama put a finger on her lips, a sign to not say anything.

As if, I thought.

She leaned on the door as it closed, eavesdropping on papa’s conversation with her guest

I looked at her wondering why she put up with papa’s nonsense.

Mama was very beautiful.

She had a kind of understated beauty, her skin fair, almost like a porcelain dolls and completely flawless, eyes the shade of burning coal and velvety black hair like leaves in the autumn breeze, her long lashes framed her eyes, the full cushion of her lips, her ample bosom and slim waist to the round curve of her generous hips, She was a beautiful and a very timid woman.

Timid, perhaps because she was so disarmingly unaware of her beauty.

Men desired her.

People held her gaze for a split second longer than necessary as if to digest her prettiness.

But Mama was stuck on Papa. That treated her like crap.

“Sister Agnes what do you do?, apart from serving God”, we heard papa say.

Mama cringed.

“Huh….ermmm” I could imagine her trying hard to stare papa in the face.”

“I’m a teacher”

“Hmmm”, Papa said ‘Why would a beautiful young woman like you choose such profession? Surely you have a lot more to offer?”

I looked through the keyhole just in time to see Sister Agnes blushing profusely.

Sister Agnes was far from beautiful… She was not overly old, but her body had aged passed her years so much so that she wore the wizened features of an old crone. Her dark hair peeping through her beret lay limply framing her aging face. Her forehead was wrinkled by many peaks and trenches – caused by years of consistent scowling. The scowl was missing today though, thanks to Papa. Her entire face always seemed drained of any signs of joy, instead her frumpy cheeks told a tale of regular displeasure, she despised Mama for her beauty but always acted like she was her best friend.

She was a church bully, an overly self righteous so-called Christian.

Why was Papa flirting with this woman?

Mama was also looking confused.

“What is your name young man?”, papa asked brother Dele.

“Brother Dele…err Dele”

“Ahh….can you excuse us for a minute brother Dele, I would like to speak to sister Agnes alone”

“errrr, yes yes” Brother Dele practically ran out of the room .

Sister Agnes shifted on her seat. “err…”

“i don’t bite” Papa said and laughed.

“Come closer” He said.

“Have you ever heard of a three-some?

Mama froze.

The Proposal

When-are-you-two-getting-marriedI was holding on to a club chair twerking furiously to Rihanna’s “Work” . It was girls night out and me and my friends, Tolu and Juliet were having the best time of our life. We were at a corner in the VIP section, our table littered with food, wine and whatnot. “Rih got nothing on me” Juliet cried as she whined her waist to the seductive rhythm of the loud music.
Suddenly the music changed. To Timi Dakolo’s “Iyawo Mi”. Egbami! Whc kain DJ? I was still complaining, slightly miffed at the rude interruption, when I saw my boyfriend, Adekunle. He even came with his friends.
“Really Babe? I said as he kissed me lightly on the lips, “what part of girls night out don’t you understand, abi are you a girl, Oga Ade? I looked back at my girls to apologise but they were already talking to some of Kunle’s friends. I turned back to find Kunle with one knee on the floor, holding out a box. What!! Omg!! Tolu and Juliet were apparently a part of this plan, i could see their barely contained excitement from the corner of my eyes.

“Titi, its been two beautiful years of knowing you, we were friends then we became lovers, you have been a friend, a confidant, a comforter, you are a beautiful and caring person and have always been there for me 100% through the bad times and the good times. I bless God for that day you walked into my life. Titi, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to wake up to your smile every morning, I want to raise our kids with you, and watch them grow with you, I want to take a chance at forever with you my baby, Titilola Edu Peperempe, I love you, will you marry me?

At this point I was already crying, I never knew how deep what I felt for this guy was, but at this point I knew for sure as I looked into his teary eye, that this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
“Yes baby” I screamed, holding out my hand “Yes I’ll marry you”

We shared a soul searing kiss, sealing our promise to each other amidst loud applause from our friends and onlookers.

Seki!!!!, no work today abi? see spittle on your lips,It’s 7 a.m o!
Sigh! It was just a dream. I dialled Kunle’s num ” babe, so I’m thinking of a girls night out this Friday…..